@arrroberts: "Don't put all your eggs ... in there".
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@jackmackenroth: I was out with my bf and a waiter called me a 'cradle robber' cuz he's 18 and I'm 43. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.
@drinksmcgee: Trojan’s next commercial should just be a guy saying “See?” while pointing at my kids when they’re fighting over a cookie.
@nataliejmooney: lying on the floor with my mouth open just in case someone breaks in and decides to grate a bunch of cheese in there
@Just_Lee_: Romantic subtweets are like watching a couple kissing in a restaurant. We're all very happy for you but it still makes us want to vomit.