@3sunzzz: Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure mint Oreos are filled with toothpaste.
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@davidkenny100: American: I was just at a shotgun wedding Me: How far pregnant was the bride? American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant
@jonnysun: "no one cares abot ur plan to dig to the center of the earth! the world doesnt revolve around you!" she said. "IT WILL IF MY PLAN WORKS THO"
@david8hughes: "So what kind of comedy will you be doing for us?" "The usual, self defecating." "Ha, I think you mean deprecating." "Think all you like."