@3sunzzz: Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure mint Oreos are filled with toothpaste.
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@GingerHotDish: [police interrogation room] Officer: you've been identified as the runner who.. Me: Let me stop you right there.
@SteveKoehler22: Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ? So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.
@gruffybeard: 630: *wakes up to take dog for walk 632: *pours coffee and checks twitter 749: *steps in dog shit on my kitchen floor