@kumailn: "Don't quote me on that." -anonymous
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@XplodingUnicorn: When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?" When I do her hair: "How about a hat?"
@KalvinMacleod: If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet.
@wickedsuga: The earth revolves around the sun. So, I guess if you want me to revolve around you, you're gonna have to set yourself on fire.