@JermHimselfish: Don't run with scissors because you might accidentally trip, fall and cut the grand opening ribbon of a new museum 2 weeks ahead of schedule
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@Jim_Capie: Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You're a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people.
@rainsutton: Just heard Justin Bieber vowed not to return to the UK after his disastrous tour here. Well done the UK. Well done.
@prettysadmostly: I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks
@WildeThingy: "I'd like a nice stiff entendre please." - Want me to make it a double? "I'll just take it as it comes."