@BreadFoster: Don't say "lets get weird" on our date then get freaked out I'm dressed in Forever 21 and holding your cousin hostage.
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@BradBroaddus: My wife wants to go on a romantic date for Valentine's Day so I guess I'll stay home with the kids.
@AnkCoupleTO: *skydiving* Jumper: Where's your parachute? Married Guy: Don't need one J: There's no chance of survival MG: Not trying to beat the odds
@b0dymassage: "HELP!" Joe pants. "WHAT IS IT JOE?" I belt. "I THINK SOMEBODY SWITCHED OUR ARTICULATORY VERBS WITH CLOTHING WORDS." He cardigans.
@MariyaAlexander: Fears: dying alone, getting horribly maimed or disfigured, people who stick their tongue out in photos