@Just_Lee_: Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words.
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@panmidwest: [roadtrip] ME: I need a bathroom break FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle ME: um…ok...now how am I supposed to wipe?
@ShesARealGenius: Him, sweaty from working out: Hey, babe, c'mere Me: Don't come any closer while you still have activity juice all over you