@SergioValenCo: Don't scream. I came to your house because you never responded to my DMs. Are you OK?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brampersandon_: Hey whatcha eating? "A pluot" Wtf is a pluot? "A cross between a plum & an apricot" That's really stupid. *rides off on a liger*
@wilw: Cat: LET ME OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW! Me: *Staggers out of bed. Opens door* Cat: *lies down on doormat*: You are dismissed.
@kelkulus: Until you've tried to start a conga line at a funeral, don't tell me about your drinking problem.
@Elizasoul80: [At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? "Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."