@osoplain: Don't sell yourself short, in fact, don't sell yourself at all. I'm pretty sure it's illegal
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@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE *walking in* omg I just saw the cutest dog driving home from work ME: wow *scratches head* I wonder what sort of job he does
@I_am_Lukem: I don't understand why people get excited about carbon dating. But then perhaps I just haven't met the right pencil.