@GaryJanetti: Don't send an email if you're angry. Wait a while. Have a couple of drinks. Get yourself really worked up. And then send it.
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slowest swimmer.
@markleggett: 1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run.