@TR_Wilson: don't smoke pots because they are made of clay and can burn your tongue
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@omgthatspunny: My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
@maughammom: Me: "You kids aren't getting any more toys until you take care of the ones you have!" Grandma: "Here are 8,000 new toys just for existing."
@EndhooS: Where are you going? "Ice fishing" You know you can just buy ice at the store right? "No I mean th..." Or just freeze some water even...
@Eightinchgoat: Guide to DIY: 1. Double the cost estimate. 2. Double the time it should take. 3. Live with it for 3 months 4. Hire someone to fix it.