@JPHaddadio: Don't spend money on body modification. If you wait long enough, your body modifies itself for free.
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@Parentpains: Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house.
@abbycohenwl: Before they built this Trader Joe's, there was just an empty field with wild shoppers politely blocking each other's way
@DaddyJew: Her: is the game almost over? Me: this is just the first half Her: uggghh how many more halves are there? Me: you're pretty