@JPHaddadio: Don't spend money on body modification. If you wait long enough, your body modifies itself for free.
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@sweetandweak: Daughter just told me, "Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches." One day her picture will be on money.
@TheIronSherk: Why is it called a "network of computers streaming Disney movies to cows" and not "Moo-LAN"
@Jack_Wagon1: Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing.