@milehighocd: Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: "someone broke into your room... and peed on you while you were asleep" me: that's right, officer
@Howiesbookclub: Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else.
@mrtruthandsoul: No, I don't need a bag; I'm gonna juggle this 12 pack, this bag of ice and this whole roasted chicken on my unicycle while whistling Dixie.