@milehighocd: Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.
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@Bob_Janke: I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid.
@themiltron: [God creating the ocean] GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere. ANGEL: Nice, that way if they’re thirsty, they— GOD: Make it undrinkable.
@OffTheHutch: "So send me a picture of you..." *sends* "Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."
@LogicLaughs: I'm Not A People Person, Or A Morning Person, Or An Evening Person, Or A Going-Out Person, Or A Staying-In.. I'm Not Even Sure I'm A Person.
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