@milehighocd: Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.
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@Jandalize: Saw a teen couple buying condoms in the pharmacy so I let my grandbaby run around their feet & whispered 'that's the brand my daughter used'
@joeljeffrey: I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur. Needless to say, my gorgonzola salad was a huge let down.
@Brampersandon_: JUDGE: so u plan to plead insanity? ME: let me double-check with my counsel *A googly-eyed sock puppet whispers in my ear* ME: yes ur honor
@68Cly29: Doctors, soldiers, firefighters. These are all respected positions. But the position I respect most as a parent Is a driver's Ed instructor