@TheTweetOfGod: Don't take this the wrong way, but you're all horrible sinners and you're going to hell.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: "someone broke into your room... and peed on you while you were asleep" me: that's right, officer
@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.
@BradBroaddus: My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.