@TheTweetOfGod: Don't take this the wrong way, but you're all horrible sinners and you're going to hell.
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@419BillE: Uh oh I planned two dates today thinking one of them would cancel and now I have to come up with a lie and quick
@SteveSuckington: Van Gogh's girlfriend: my dearest Vincent, lend me your ear Him: cuts ear off Her: I just wanted u to listen to me Him: nah, I'm good
@my_boy_joey: I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle.