@TheTweetOfGod: Don't take this the wrong way, but you're all horrible sinners and you're going to hell.
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@Scdavis24: Tip Of the Day: You can easily avoid bruising your thigh by not staring at a female jogger and then walking into a fire hydrant.
@butterwolf: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Marry your enemy. Grow old together. Watch your enemy die.
@rockymomax: Bank robber: EVERYONE BE CALM AND NO ONE GETS HURT Guy from back of room: IM DATING UR EX WIFE BR: [sobbing] ok only one person gets hurt