@Mr_Kapowski: "Don't tell me how to raise my cat!," I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*
@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
@johnbiehl: Who him? Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.