@Mr_Kapowski: "Don't tell me how to raise my cat!," I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KKAlThani: My biggest fear is laughing at a joke I didn't understand and someone asks me to explain it to them.
@SamuelHLowe: - You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma'am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
@dank_hitler: 1. Secretly take a bunch of pictures of someone you see everyday but barely know 2. Friend request them on FB 3. Tag them in 238 photos
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: Do you think men and women are just hardwired differently? ME [drinking a bottle of shampoo]: *bubble noises*