@KimmyMonte: Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER
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@Steelers1972: I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
@NervousJr: Snow White is my favorite Disney movie about a man trying to hook up with a woman who just wants to sleep.
@YayForJam: Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo
@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.