@KimmyMonte: Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER
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@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough.
@haleysfalling: cop: are you high? me: if i was high could i do this? *vaults over car hood and does 360 no scope* cop: did you just say "asterisk vaults ov
@OfficialMizGin: Vegetarian: *lists 100 reasons why I shouldn’t eat meat* Me: Counterpoint: bacon.
@mattZillaaaa: It's almost that time of night where I drunk text my ex "I have to tell you something" then shut my phone off.