@LeahTiscione: Don't tell me you're coming to my party on facebook then go for something better last minute ugh have fun at "the wake" or whatever
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@TheDairylandDon: A friend lectured me about going to see Star Wars alone, because "that's weird." As if chastising a grown man in a cloak is some normal shit
@notfaizzy: ...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.
@demented_Ash: Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car, Throw you off a street so high, Hope you break your neck and die.
@AndyAsAdjective: Does the employee manual say I CAN'T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.