@LeahTiscione: Don't tell me you're coming to my party on facebook then go for something better last minute ugh have fun at "the wake" or whatever
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@DanielRCarrillo: If your opponent cracks his knuckles before a fight, have comfort knowing that osteoarthritis will, in due time, avenge your savage beating.
@ChaseMit: My girlfriend's car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.
@djdarrellripley: My online therapist says you can't live your life in fear....He also sells shampoo.