@jwoodham: Don't text and drive. Just pull over until you're done using your phone. That's what I do. I've been on the side of the road since 2011.
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@turtledumplin: Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I can point out chicks who say "vokka" and "liberry" instead of "vodka" and "library" based on the use of emoticons in their screen name.
@rachelle_mandik: there is no way you can prove that babies grow and are not instead replaced overnight with entirely new but slightly larger babies