@jwoodham: Don't text and drive. Just pull over until you're done using your phone. That's what I do. I've been on the side of the road since 2011.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rolldiggity: Decades of video games have left me WAY too confident in my ability to break open a wooden crate.
@jwoodham: DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort. SNAPE: Dude, seriously?
@GayDeceiver: Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it. I wish I could make this up.
@jonnysun: JOB INTERVIEWER: it says here ur a postmodern deconstructivist…? ME: did ur parents realy name u 'Job'? especialy with a last name like urs?