@westcoastgurl: Don't think of me as 40. Think of me as two 20 yr olds.
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@AndyRichter: Back in my day when we found a Pokémon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone
@MariyaAlexander: Cops have a new radar that lets them see through walls into our homes but imagine if this technology fell into the wrong hands! Oh wait...
@TheMichaelRock: If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
@notacroc: [restaurant] ME: *reading menu* how's the chicken parm? OUR WAITER, TONY THE TIGER: it's grr- MANAGER: *glares at Tony* TONY: it's exquisite