@lovemydogduck: Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey
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@heatherlou_: If I could teach my kid anything it would be do not attempt to lay on my face. Give me my personal space please, tiny leech.
@chuuew: POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: So he had grey hair, medium build, grey eyes, no glasses, a grey suit and grey shoes? DOG: Correct
@BadaBinge: Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a "homeless romantic".
@baseballchickie: First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you're Italian. (I can say this cause I'm Italian.)