@lovemydogduck: Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey
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@HogwartsLogics: Harry wasn't chosen for Ravenclaw because he tried to catch the Hogwarts letters from the air instead of taking one from the floor.
@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
@Quartzjixler: Thanks, meeting venue that turns off the AC in the restrooms--I love emerging from taking a dump looking like I just ran a marathon!
@MoneypennyNaked: Me: I just need some time alone, please. *closes door* - Ma'am, if you're not trying on clothes, we'll need you to leave the dressing room.