@lovemydogduck: Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey
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@Book_Krazy: Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No.
@jonnysun: maybe bears omly like honey so much becuase their throats hurt from all the growlimg they do
@LuckoftheDraw86: Yogi Bear: You gonna eat that? Hiker: THAT'S A BABY. YB: And I'm a talking bear. Hiker: YB: Hiker: YB: So where are we on that baby?
@tastefactory: Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*