@SwirlySkittles: Don't touch my nutella with your banana.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: 80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction.
@jonnysun: ME: [sitting on iphone] europe. europe. EUROPE. europe [5 hrs later] ME: ok fine maybe ur right WIFE: what did you think airplane mode meant
@Vodkantots: Shrink: How would you rate your depression right now? Me: 0 out of 5 stars. Would not recommend.