@SwirlySkittles: Don't touch my nutella with your banana.
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@WritePlay: *dog barks at absolutely everything, every time* Me: SHUT UP *dog barks at burglar, one time* Me: It's like he just knew there was danger
@TheToddWilliams: [praying mantis first date] Female: You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Male: Yeah well, you know, saving it for marriage.