@funnyordie: Don't trust anybody who owns a working printer.
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@WilliamAder: If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles.
@JediGigi: Mom: So, do you have someone special in your life? Me: Define "someone" Mom: You know, a boyfriend. Me: Define "boyfriend"
@susafrican420: white ppl: omg lakeisha is such a ghetto name white ppl: here comes my child daffodil ginseng blueberry yogurt
@bracealmighty: My mate called me an idiot for always getting my idioms wrong but it takes one to know someone.