@CheryeDavis: Don't trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
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@Steven37366100: [Home Depot] Me: I’ll take your finest home *All surrounding dads tear up with joy*
@fulciHugazombie: Like most parents, I live in fear of the day I have to explain PRETTY WOMAN to my daughter.
@CJhooray: I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk
@CornOnTheGoblin: [bartender hands lady drink] courtesy of the gentleman down there [she takes a sip] is this - [me from the end of the bar] IT'S MILK