@MissMalbec: Don't try to fix your computer the same day you quit drinking. You. Will. Relapse.
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@MourningGlory_: Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail. JK It was me.
@juliussharpe: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
@mattZillaaaa: People who knock on my front door really need to give up these unrealistic expectations that I'm going to answer