@MissMalbec: Don't try to fix your computer the same day you quit drinking. You. Will. Relapse.
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@philgibson01: "This undercooked pasta is an absolute car crash" What do you mean? "It's all denty"
@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
@QwertyJones3: [Safari] "Remember, when you're near water beware of wild hippos." Don't worry, I'm prepared for that. *shows handful of white marbles*