@WhaJoTalkinBout: Don't try to sell a membership to the president of the fan club.
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@lovemydogduck: Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup
@TheAlexNevil: I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
@outsmartedmommy: The best way to prepare for Motherhood is to put Dora on TV for 9 months, set your alarm for every 45 minutes and throw food on your floors.
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: I just bought toilet paper. How are we out already? ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess