@NicestHippo: Don't worry about choosing between a job you love & one that pays money because you won't be able to find either
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@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.
@dumbbeezie: I just saw a woman outside sitting alone on a bench and staring at nothing and it made me so sad. I wonder what happened to her phone?
@heykarlin: Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
@KtotheK39: I dated a guy so arrogant he walked into a post while looking at his reflection in a store window. I left him. Unconscious on the street.