@AristotlesNZ: Don't worry, dude, You're fine. I'm pretty sure you need a personality first before it can have a disorder.
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@kellyoxford: Cyclists who don't obey street signs should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt.
@GrantTanaka: never underestimate the power of positive thinking, and also never underestimate the power of waving a tire iron or a gun around
@SondraDeeMe: [first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.
@Discourt: INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING.