@squirrel74wkgn: Don't worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn't be lost much longer.
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@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@OutOnTheMoors: "Comedians" don't RT because? A. Their tweets are pure gold. B. This is just a joke-tryout site. C. They know we're all funnier than them.
@ThePocketJustin: The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now.
@dsmitty62: Today is "bring your dog to work day". I thought it was "bring your dawg to work day". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg