@Try2StopME: Always trust the judgements of a man who honestly answers to the question 'What's up?'

@VashWdsUnspoken: Hey Amish person reading this: Busted.

@XplodingUnicorn: [middle of the night] Me: Wake up! Wife: What?! Me: I dreamt Dolores Umbridge banned my pig Wife: Me: But she couldn't. It was HOGwarts

@2thestreetz: *lights scented candle* *accidentally burns down house* *everyone agreed that it smelled amazing*

@LurkAtHomeMom: If my 6 year old tells me someone was "mean to him" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal.