@theshantilly: Don't worry, men. Women can't tell women to calm down either.
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@Try2StopME: Always trust the judgements of a man who honestly answers to the question 'What's up?'
@XplodingUnicorn: [middle of the night] Me: Wake up! Wife: What?! Me: I dreamt Dolores Umbridge banned my pig Wife: Me: But she couldn't. It was HOGwarts
@2thestreetz: *lights scented candle* *accidentally burns down house* *everyone agreed that it smelled amazing*