@NikiWithIssues: Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!
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@SarahMJade: When people ask me for directions Im just going to do a really slow sarcastic Macarena .
@rockymomax: [buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely
@rsynder336x2: Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness