@NikiWithIssues: Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!
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@fro_vo: Me: so what do you do Date: i’m an optometrist M: oh like a glass half full thing D: no like eyes M: why do u have a glass half full of eyes
@panmidwest: [business trip] ME: i forgot my charger COWORKER: you should invest in a spare to keep in your bag ME: i forgot all 4 of my chargers
@CalmTomb: BBC crime shows on Netflix: - Inspector Grimpenchester - The Hangman's Ax - Get Me Bumblry! - Miss Lettie Pennyfeather's Detective Concern