@SoulYodeler: Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I won't say a word about your "wenital werpes" *winks*
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@yenniwhite: As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I'm a mom and I'm like, Oh. OK.
@BreadFoster: I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.
@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*