@SoulYodeler: Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I won't say a word about your "wenital werpes" *winks*
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@hazelmotes1: Having children really brought me and my wife closer together. We have a common enemy now.
@lalastrailer: If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company.
@olerunkbitch: I had no idea we were millionaires until I just saw my husband casually rip off 3 or 4 paper towels at once.
@Lexxivy: If your boyfriend is ever about to break up with you, yell "what about the baby!" You'll be in a relationship for at least another 5 minutes