@thatUPSdude: Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels.
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@kelkulus: What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!
@PULPKetchup: First they came for the Fight Club members, but I said nothing, because...you know...rules.
@Canadian_Cutie_: My voicemail greeting: Its 2016, please hang up and text me before the beep so I don't get a notification.
@AsgardianRose: I just overheard a woman tell her son "We don't lick other people, it's gross" and now I'm reevaluating so many choices I've made.