@thatUPSdude: Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels.
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@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?
@better_off_dad: I could tell by her screams this was not the kind of friendship that included showers.
@Bagyants: It's convenient for my password security needs that my mother's maiden name is Waffles4%