@krishna_van: Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [God wakes up] oh man i am hungover, what'd i do last night? [sees that goats have the ability to scream now] haha oh yea
@deLusticious: Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
@LaziestCanine: First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit.