@TheAlexP: Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?
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@fro_vo: [spelling bee] Judge: your word is tennis Me: s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s Judge: Me: Judge: please spell it again i lost count
@JessObsess: [drunk text] God I miss you so much. Why can't we go back to how things were? OBAMA: How did you get this number?
@skullpuppy11: Just like Hitler with the tiny mustache, Kim Jong-Un is ruining that haircut for everyone else.