@TheAlexP: Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?
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@Deirdreocx: If you're ovulating and have sex standing up... Is it called a standing ovulation? Asking for a friend
@KentWGraham: I’m glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we’d constantly be walking into each other.
@Reverend_Scott: [Apple meeting] We need an honest iPhone 6 slogan. "How about, iPhone 6: Yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices." Too honest, Carl.
@theshantilly: Me: What's w/the ice pack? 12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache? 12: Yes.