@RatCasket: DOOM 4. All of the guns suck, so we made punching take forever.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*
@DirtMcTurd: [Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue
@Shelts99: My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick.