@RatCasket: DOOM 4. All of the guns suck, so we made punching take forever.
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@MourningGlory_: Whenever someone tells me they get a "high" from running, all I'm thinking is, "You've obviously never been high before."
@3sunzzz: H: I'm going to the strip club tonight. M: okay H: That's it, okay? M: Sure, just remember who prepares your food. H: What? M: What?
@underchilde: Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences and why not to talk to your girlfriend about weight gain.
@The_JRM: The reason my daughter wasn't nominated for an Oscar is because the Academy hasn't seen my 7yo trying to get out of going to school.