@ladymisskate: Doormats are a gateway rug.
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@UncleDuke1969: I've got 99 problems... <snap> 98 problems. <snap> 97 problems. <snap> 96 problems. <snap> BRB... I need to buy more mousetraps.
@KyleMcDowell86: [Bowling Alley] "I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any bowling shoes left" *gestures towards a happy family of centipedes bowling*
@topaz_kell: When there's a police car behind you with their lights flashing... It means speed up, right?
@MasterOfMoppets: These coffee flavored rice cakes are delicious, but chewy. [eats another coaster]