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@ladymisskate: Doormats are a gateway rug.
@MommaUnfiltered: GPS: turn left onto High Street
Husband: no thanks, I know a longer way.
@MrFornicator: A judge in Oklahoma City wed a couple and then sentenced the groom to prison. That sounds redundant to me.
@AaronMichael_: God created the orgasm so women can moan even when they're happy.
@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women:
1-approach beautiful lady
2-bend at the knees
4-oh god she's screaming
5-put her down the cops are here
@MissNaughty1801: 7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy?
Me: 7 years
7y: how long have you got left?