@ladymisskate: Doormats are a gateway rug.
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@Livsey1: "People want to feel special.. they'll buy sugary piss in a bottle as long as it has their name on it." - Executives at Coke
@kharizzmaaa: Happy Mother's Day to the woman who told me "I could fall out at home" when I asked for Fall Out Boy tickets at age 14
@AimeeHelene1: Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*