@XGroverX: Dora the explorers parents don't give any kind of shit about Dora. She's 7 and she's flying planes and shit to South America with a monkey!
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@_making_friends: me: damnit, i forgot to get my bus fare reimbursed this month sally: go see gary in HR, he's pretty flexible [walks in on gary doing yoga]
@WheelTod: You want me to make up a word for the period of my life before I became a mailman? That's preposterous
@TheTweetOfGod: Everyone in "Star Wars". Everyone in "The Muppets". Everyone in "Game of Thrones". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters.
@thenatewolf: ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming. GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills