@Quartzjixler: Doritos has a new snack called "Taco Explosion" so I'm suing Frito Lay for stealing my term for what occurs an hour after eating Taco Bell.
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@CulturedRuffian: Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run.
@NicestHippo: Facebook has a link to "Report a Problem" so I wrote "I'm not very close with my father." Now we wait I guess
@EndhooS: [Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* "There has to be a better way"