@Julian_Deane: Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator.
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@Jake_Vig: THEM: Hey-- ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this. THEM: I just watched you say "ring ring." ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important.
@Tetley6969: At the restaurant I heard a lady say her taco was too salty. My wife had to leap over the table and cover my mouth before I said something.
@TheQuietPsycho: I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore
@LukeMones: This google docs thing is lame. Whatever happened to those viruses that turned your screen into a laughing skull & shut down the power grid?