@RoxiieHart: Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
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@Douchekevin: A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
@BoozeWallet: MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming
@lawbsterfest: Kevin, children are allowed to order pizzas. You don't have to make the delivery guy think he's being shot at by gangsters. For christ sake.
@JamieGreenlees: If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it.