@marsboyroy: Downhill is probably the only way I can honestly say I've rolled.
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@duplicitron: Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.
@murrman5: *A group of cannibals eating a pie* This is amazing, what did you do different? "Well, I used fresh Barry's"
@DanMentos: “Hello, Pizza Hut” Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? “eight” And a medium? “eight” *long pause* I’d like to speak with your manager
@PyrBliss: Never knew why pajama tops had pockets on them, but I just filled mine up with cookies to bring back to bed and now it makes complete sense.