@marsboyroy: Downhill is probably the only way I can honestly say I've rolled.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Boss: You're not fired but we're taking away all your responsibilities. Me: Cool, a promotion! Boss: No-- Me: Sounds like a promotion to me.
@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.
@CoolCamel69: Son, I found some drugs in your backpack "Dad I swear they're not mine" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it