@DrDogMD: DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don't just want me to cut it off?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Lakelandr: I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
@jake_likes_naps: *catches up to jogger while wearing the same outfit* good luck shaking the police off loser *sprints ahead while sirens can be heard*
@sucittaM: I hate when I'm in line for the bathroom and someone asks if I'm in line, like I look like a dude who just waits outside of bathrooms.
@Mike__Lee: I'm sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they've won the Canadian lottery.