@Midgetspar: Dr. Seuss would have CRUSHED it on 8 Mile.
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@preritpathak: *At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes "No, I'm good" & "No, I'm just looking"* Me:"No, I'm just good looking"
@TheRolo: Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to "Vintage Hams"] Hipster: I'll take 4
@AsgardianRose: Happy one month anniversary to whatever is inside that Tupperware bowl in the back of the fridge!
@primawesome: Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.