@Meet_Joe_Cool: Potty training my twins is like the Titanic's maiden voyage... In the beginning we are excited, in the end everyone is crying and all wet.
@PaperWash: Age 15: kids are stupid
Age 25: kids are stupid
Age 35: I love my kids but kids are stupid
@_UltimateTwit: Like most parents, my wife and I love to proudly watch our beautiful little daughter whilst she sleeps.
Freaks her husband out though.
@lakeanagirl: I've never had a better karate instructor than a spider web.
@JediGigi: Me: Nice biker jacket. You ride?
Him: No
Me: So you're a liar?
Him:
Me:
Him: Nice yoga pants
Me: That jacket looks so awesome on you!
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