@torrami: Dragons aren't evil; they're just upset that they can't enjoy Popsicles and other frozen treats.
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@AdmiralAkbrown: The trouble with cops is if one's a douchebag you can't ask to speak to a manager.
@Sassafrantz: Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
@dubstep4dads: ladies say I'm a hamster in the sheets because I squeal when I'm uncomfortable and I leave small pellets in the bed
@TheRolo: I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams.