@SarcasticCharm: Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: date: [breaks 3 minute silence] "you dont have to use the chopsticks just to impress me" me: [trying to pick up my beer] "i can do it"
@DothTheDoth: The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
@TheTweetOfGod: Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.