@SarcasticCharm: Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
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@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.
@MarfSalvador: me: [flicking through memory book] aww and this is my first pet, hammy the hamster gf: you know you could have just taken a photo