@SarcasticCharm: Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
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@PimpBillClinton: To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on.
@DuaneABarrett: Just overheard someone say, "I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries." You know. Like a book.
@markydoodoo: *swirling Gatorade in a wine glass* Ah yes, the sportings, I have perused that endeavor. The throwing, the goalings, I love it all.