@theevilwriter: Dreamed I won the lottery last night - $35 on a scratch ticket. Clearly I have a rich fantasy life lately.
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@Sassafrantz: boss: I've been reviewing the security footage from last night and... me: OH SHIT! boss: OH SHIT IS RIGHT! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE ON POINT!
@carlyken: I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
@kevinseccia: Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?