@PostCultRev: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Better yet, dress for jobs that don't even exist. Werewolf psychiatrist. Clown assassin.
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@HousewifeOfHell: Fluffy towels that don't absorb anything but just move water around on your body are the devil's handiwork.
@BromanConsul: the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words
@jesse_street: *gets laser eye surgery* "Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?" I told you, that's not what— *i squint at him real hard but he's right*
@Elizasoul80: Me: "I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself." Twitter: lol, you said "came".