@PostCultRev: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Better yet, dress for jobs that don't even exist. Werewolf psychiatrist. Clown assassin.
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@causticbob: I have started a band called Free Beer. When people see our sign 'Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM' I'm sure everyone is going to be there.
@david8hughes: Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?
@markleggett: I don't see any former child prodigies/spelling bee champions solving any of the world's problems. Thanks for nothing, you little burn-outs.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown* Me: Sweetie, you need to share Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35