@mattZillaaaa: Dress for the job you want to sleep at
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@_Enanem_: I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.
@AdmiralAkbrown: "Oh look, it's sleeping!" "Oh look, it's sleeping!" "Oh look, it's sleeping!" -every trip to the zoo, ever
@dulcetry: This Walmart is advertising $9.99 iPads to anyone who throws their baby into a snakepit.