@TheBoydP: Drink like a fish and you'll never feel like a fish out of water socially. You might look like one but you'll never feel like one...
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@timdonakowski: "We like the idea, we do. We're just afraid it's going to keep the viewer awake." - Sundance Channel execs
@Rollinintheseat: Friend: "I'm breaking up with my boyfriend. He acts like a savage." Me: "Fred or Ben?"
@wilw: I think the blue states should get the taco trucks first, and the red states have to wait, because elections have consequences.
@TheMichaelRock: My wife sent me to the store to buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion and condoms. I'm pretty sure the cashier thinks I'm making a girlfriend.