@bingowings14: Drinking ink won't kill you, you'll just dye a little inside.
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@KeetPotato: [inventing humans] god: "they should have complete control of their tongue" angel: "um ok" god: "let me finish.. except when using scissors"
@efasheefaa: That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat.
@neonwario: Ah yes. I've linked my Twitter to my Wordpress, and my LinkedIn to Klout. Now it's time to interface my Acura ILX with a giant redwood
@louisvirtel: I was worried that Tim Kaine was too boring and then I remembered entertainment is what got us into this mess.